Regarding Lawn Ornaments

Upon several months of observation, I have concluded that lawn ornaments in Michiana tend to fall into one of several categories:

• Animal: deer, rabbits, and those ubiquitous geese (often dressed up).
• Religious (primarily Catholic): angels, Francis with his birds, Mary.
• Unimaginative: rocks, sometimes with the family name or a Notre Dame logo.

While the habitats of these different groups rarely overlap, there are occasional instances where one can spy both rocks and concrete deer, or a smartly-dressed goose sharing a yard with the Virgin Mother of God. Kitsch, it seems, is inherently democratic: it is the great leveler.

Someday, when I am a home-owner (and thus, probably, more conservative, a good deal more in debt, and more likely to shout at children to get off my lawn), I think I might get one of those geese. (I have a high opinion of the Theotokos, mind you, but I have no desire to display her in my yard.)